This is Irma Jones. I am married to Col. Michael L. Jones Director of Admissions at West Point. He is a WP Grad class of 70. We have a son also Michael Jr. WP grad of 96. Also we have a yuck class of 01 Elisa.

For me it was not a traumatic change because I am an army brat who traveled in 53 to Japan with my dad and spent my entire life in the army except for 6 months after college and before being married. We were married in Austin, Texas because we both wanted to have time to enjoy our wedding and being botdh Texans we wanted to begin our married life in Tx. Also in those days the chapels were running a wedding marathon with weddings every hour on the hour.

I lived at WP for the last semester so I truly experienced a very cold bitter winter, confinement for Mike, NYCity escapes, football (on earlier trips.), cadet life, parades, graduation, and the local hang outs. We were pinned and I wear always the first WP miniature that is not set in the ring but sits above with prongs. We were engaged in Qtrs 105 home of the Dir of Admissions. We also have the first WP cadet giant nutcracker from Wolfsoden, Germany made from a picture of Mike as a cadet. When we went back 15 years later there were tons of them being made. I digress.

You are never married to the Army . You are married to your spouse who opens up so many avenues of adventure, exploration of the world, fear during deployments, tears of joy of childbirth - we were lucky to have been together for all 5 of our childrens' births.

Our 30 years have been an experience unequaled by civilians but opened to all military families. Not all was rosy. Mike was in Viet Nam a trial for any wife to watch nightly on the news. No news for weeks always made for sleepless nights. But marring a Dedicated Infantryman made for learning more about myself independence, tolerance of the demands of the field, CO's, other wives needs., and made for a very close and dedicated family with such strength and faith that kept us strong in our many times of tramatic experiences- such as grave illness, teenage years, dead cars, emergency room visits which inevitably occurred right after the Infantryman left for deployments, NTC, or Reforger, or field duty. That is when you find the real strength in the Army - spouses who support each other, are available always to help and bolster each other. I was a brownie leader with a male spouse brownie leader so it goes both ways. We had such a great support group before there were ever support groups.

Relocations- I once counted 34 and then stopped countling(that's in all my life.)

I wouldn't call it " adjustments to living with a West Pointer" but privileges of living wlith a WPter.. I proudly wear my miniature, and 3 A pins 70, 96, and 01. I love going to Founders' Day and love going with my husband to commune with prospective WPters. Our house has so many items of WP memoribilia , and millions of pictures of all "our" cadets we sponsor and have watched grow into the most honorable, dedicated Americans in the world It is truly a privilege to in some way ease the rigor of life for cadets. Marrying a grad also means tremendous reunions with lifelong friends sharing laughter and tears. It also means sometimes burying friends in the WP cemetary and often going back to visit them and asking them to watch over others in harms way. Fear and apprehension are a part of your life along with joy and the renewal of married life upon return from separations. But is it just a small price to pay for the best life you can share with "your West Pointer."

I watch now as my son soon begins married life with a wonderful young woman. They have so much to share and to experience that few people will have such an opportunlity for truly living a shared life of dedication to their country and having the best life has to offer .

PS I don't have time to check this for errors . A computer geek I am not . But the science fair calls for help with my youngest and my husband is traveling. Hope this helps.

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Hi! I'm married to Lee Taylor, Class of '80, I-Beams. Lee's still active duty, stationed at Ft. Carson. We dated his senior year of high school and kept in touch rather than stayed together throughout the West Point years (that separation and different life/college experiences were not beneficial to our relationship...). We were married the year after he graduated, after that initial Ft. Benning stay at IOBC, Ranger School, etc.

To all spouses: If you were not married at WP, and were engaged while your spouse was there, why did you not get married there? N/A Had we been engaged while he was at WP and had we married at WP, he probably would have preferred the smaller chapel where he attended Lutheran services, the dark chapel with all the flags along the walls.

So, what is it like to be married to the Army? Lee has said several times, "But you knew what you were getting into when we got married..." Hell, no, I had no idea what Army life was all about. The only thing I knew about the military was to avoid the Marines that would come over from Parris Island to Savannah's River Street on the weekends. My family moved a lot, but we had no contact with the military. My parents were immigrants, so there was no inherent Southern tradition of service to country, etc.

We got married 10 days after Ranger School graduation... and throughout there was that pressure of Lee having to graduate because otherwise all kinds of plans would be completely messed up. He showed up, bald, emaciated, ravenous, and easily startled.

Two weeks later, he moved to Germany and delved into the paperwork required to make his tour a married accompanied tour so I could join him. Then it was up to me to arrange with The Army for moving and storage of our consolidated possessions, now all piled in my bedroom of a shared apartment. Shortly after I arrived in Germany, he left for a 2-week field problem, leaving me in a small German apartment on the economy.

The US Army was highly visible in Germany in the early 1980's, with tanks and other vehicles I was supposed to identify everywhere. The first night Lee was called on an Alert at 4:30 AM, he warned me very seriously that he might not come back, that he might be sent directly to the border. After the 3rd or 4th Alert, all called at 4:30 AM, I quit worrying quite so much. He was gone 100 days that first year. I worked, met people, learned functional German, and started to integrate into the Army way of life. There was so much to learn: the etiquette, the rank structure, the unit structures, what office was responsible for what, weird acronyms and names (Class VI means beer store?), social interdependence, socio-economic-interracial mixing, that they'd give you furniture but it wouldn't necessarily match, etc.

With each following move, it was so nice to have the same sort of structure to move into, to fit into immediately. Ah, yes, I know where to go to get this taken care of, or why there are arrows on the commissary floor, or how to make new friends quickly at OWC, etc. When things start to get comfortable, as in knowing your way around, knowing all the grocery checkers and the lady at the library... must be time to move again. We've taken advantage of travel opportunities everywhere we've lived and have seen a lot of the world. At the WP 10-year reunion, there was no one who had gotten out that we really envied.

What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time? Our tours have been fairly stable and long, about 4 years, moving only in the summers, which has been good for the family. However, we have had 8 homes in 19 years; Lee has had several more due to schools and "away" assignments.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically? Duty, honor, country... honor code... these are engraved on his character and woe be to he/her who is not quite as virtuous, whether this be spouse or child.

Did you get an A-pin? no A scarlet letter????? Are you kidding????

Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring? If not, why? no I didn't get a class ring from my own high school or college, and I didn't go to West Point, so why would I want a class ring from my husband's school as my engagement ring?????

How did you handle the deployments? I think a military wife has to be independent and trustworthy and competent. I've met wives whose mother-in-laws controlled the family checkbook, leaving the wife and kids with no support, wives who were not allowed to drive while the husband was deployed, and worse. I don't like my husband to go away, but life is manageable when he's gone. He usually knows in advance when he's going, and for how long. The only time I was really irritated was the Friday morning in June he went to Hungary, promising to be home in time for dinner theater that night, and not actually coming home until January. Oh, and would I please send his uniforms and stuff?

Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage? Good

Thanks, Karin Taylor

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Which chapel were you married in?
Paula and Jack Campbell were married in the Catholic Chapel at West Point on June 8, 1955.

What was it like being married there?
It was pretty much like an assembly line with the married couple and party exiting through one door as the next couple and wedding party came in the other door. That aside, it coupled all the excitement of being married and being commissioned with the pomp and ceremony of a full military wedding.

What special memories does the day bring?
Ours was a mixed marriage (Catholic and Protestant) and in those days mixed marriages were handled at a side alter, but at West Point we were able to be married at the main alter and that was very special. It stamped a memory we'll never forget.

Why there?
Our families came from all over the mid west to participate in the graduation ceremonies. So with all of them present, where better to have our wedding.

How did you deal with family needs?
Between the Thayer Hotel and facilities at Ladycliff College, we were able to take care of all family needs. And the reception was held upstairs in Cullum Hall, right on the reservation.

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Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?
yes

Which chapel were you married in?
Cadet Chapel

What was it like being married there?
Very nice and meaningful; nostalgic now

What special memories does the day bring? Happiness and joy; the cold Feb. weather at West Point; the good time at our reception at the O'Club

Why there?
my wife lived in Highland Falls

How did you deal with family needs?
no problems

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
I like Army life What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically?
nothing special

Did you get an A-pin?
no Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring?

no If not, why?
never really wanted one; rather have a big diamond ring How did you handle the deployments? never a problem Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage? We thank you for answering all or some of the above.

LTC George and Sue Stone, Class of '80
Orlando, FL

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My husband, 2LT Stephen S Hamilton '98 and I first met while we were both cadets at West Point. We briefly met during Beast and then became best friends the beginning of our plebe year through the Cadet Field Music Group and the Cadet Band. Our relationship progressed during yuk year and we began to date. At the end of our yuk year and the middle of my summer detail as Buckner Squad Leader I was separated for a medical discharge for supposedly having asthma. I transferred to Dickinson College in Carlisle, PA which is a short 4 hour drive from WP and finished my degree there. Through all of our hard times as cadets together, and then when I was separated and at a different school, we remained best friends and eventually were engaged and married a few days after graduation! *Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?

Yes, 6 days after graduation *Which chapel were you married in?
Catholic Chapel *What was it like being married there? It was very special to the both of us to be married at the place we met. We also attended chapel services together as cadets and held hands as we sang hymns. We had a traditional military wedding with the arch of steel and uniforms for military folks.

*What special memories does the day bring?
It was great to have so many friends and family attend from all the walks of our lives. Many of our relatives had never been to WP before so it was really great for them to learn about the history the academy played in various wars.

*Why there?
We first met at WP as cadets so it only seemed natural to be married there! This was the birthplace of our relationship and what made us best friends. *How did you deal with family needs?
My husband's family was already coming up for graduation so we knew that we had to keep it close to that date. My extended family all lived in the NY area so it was only a day's drive (weekend getaway) for many of them. But, we had to move the date back from the Sunday after graduation to the following Friday b/c my parents lived out of the country and would not be able to make it back in time. -- I also created a webpage to give the directions and times of everything during Grad Week up until the wedding to give people an idea of what to expect. We reserved a block of rooms at various hotels in the area for the actual wedding weekend and allowed people to select which hotel they wanted to use. It was difficult at times having so many of his family members come for the graduation and expecting to spend oodles of time alone with him when we were still trying to prepare for the wedding. At times, it did feel that one was overshadowing the other but it flipped back and forth so much that I couldn't say which was given the most attention overall. For anyone who is taking the same route.... ensure that family members understand that the graduate is in charge of the activities and will dictate what will be done and when. The grad has enough stress in clearing out of WP that he/ she does NOT need any added stress of relatives getting 'lost' or complaining about things that are out of the grad's hands. The grad does NOT need this stress! *So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
It's quite an adventure! I understood cadet life very well having been a cadet for 2 years myself. But, entering the Army life is something different. I have found the Officer's Spouses Club at my post to be full of snide partners who are so rude and cruel to the new officer spouses that come in. I also never feel that I was ever explained exactly how things work like the Tricare system for health care, different benefits we should receive, job help, etc. I really feel isolated from the Army as a whole but drawn in through my husband's company. Because he is a platoon leader, I am given some sort of 'rank' within the souses of the Family Support/ Readiness Group. I thoroughly enjoy being with these people and have dedicated a great deal of time and effort to suppor them. This group is primarily consistent of enlisted wives who happen to be the nicest people on this particular post. On the other hand, thr officer's spouses are cruel in nature and I hope I don't turn out like them years from now! I refuse to interact with them now and find all the support I need in my FRG which is ultimately the people who truly support my husbands mission in the long run anyway!-- On the nature of deployments and field exercises... I knew that these were part of the job and were initially expecting to be on them myself.... but things change and now I patiently accept these things as part of our lives for now. Our FRG is excellent support in that we organize cooking days on any weekend where the guys are in the field. He will also be heading to Egypt for a few weeks this summer which he is looking forward to. Separation has always beens omething that we've had tohandle from the beginning of our relationship. And, now it is still the same. The only thing that I can say is to get involved with some group or another to keep you and your family busy while the military member is away. These things will certainly help you keep order in your life while missing the most vital part- your spouse. *What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
Moved to four different houses in 7 months of marriage! *What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically? Frequently asked questions about the academy. You also get a sense of pride in being associated with WP and lift your head a little higher knowing that your spouse has endured a great deal during their time at WP. ROTC units and OCS are fine systems to enter the military and many of our friends took that same route... but it takes a different kind of person to attend an academy and all soldiers know this. Your spouse will be looked upon with awe and admiration at times and will always be held to a higher standard. As the spouse, you must follow their lead and hold yourself to a higher standard by supporting the unit with all that you can and by being all that you can be! :D

*Did you get an A-pin?
A-pins were not the big thing at the time. I received a class crest necklace during Ring Weekend instead which means more to me. *Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring? If not, why? No- it seemed silly to have a duplicate of the same ring in the same family! We were already engaged so it was not to be used as an engagement ring and it really seemed like an added waste of money that really wouldn't be worn as often as my own class ring.

*How did you handle the deployments?
Stay active in Family Readiness Groups so that you can support other wives and receive their understanding and support during your mutual hard times. Frequently write letters and know that you will not receive many back. They simply will not have enough time to write as often as we will. Keep something sentimental close to you at all times (necklace, ring, his cologne) so that when those random strikes of loneliness hit you while you're driving around town, you can simply look at your rememberance and smile knowing that he loves you and is probably thinking of you, too! Don't be afraid to cry at times. Stay strong for the kids but let them know that crying is ok, too, and that it just means that you miss daddy as much as they do.

*Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage?
It certainly breaks up the times and adds stress into rocky marriages but it also strengthens the GOOD ones even more by forcing you to realize what you are missing when they are gone. Remember that you are an individual, too, and that you are part of a couple. You are not lost without the military member even though it may feel like it. You are able to stand on your own two feet and continue on with the daily things in life. I think it will definitely strengthen the good marriages and demonstrate the holes in the weaker ones much faster than the average circumstances of life would permit.

Has anyone considered a military guide to weddings for the bride to understand how to do things? It's hard to stumble through these thigns on your own... just an idea!

Sincerely,
2LT Stephen and Danielle Hamilton
D Co, 123d Sig Btn
Ft Stewart, GA 31314

PS- Attached are two photos: Wedding 7 is of the arch of steel at the moment when I'm getting hit in the butt while our best friend Chris Hosmer '98 says "Welcome to the Army, Mrs. Hamilton!" and Wedding 10 is a photo of us up at Lusk Res

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I came along in Elmer's life much, much later than most. I was the widow (Vietnam) of a friend of Elmer's and he was a long-time bachelor. Some of the questions on weddings and marriage to a West Pointer (career Army officer) are amusing and I couldn't resist putting in my 2 cents worth...Anne B. Pendleton

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
I cannot imagine a better, more challenging,educational and exciting life. I find I feel sorry for civilians. What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
3 moves in two years. What adjustments does a spouse make to live with a West Pointer?
Like any other marriage, one must accept one's husband's choice of profession and learn to love it. Any other course of action causes dissention. great saddness and possible dissolution of the marriage. Over the years, the men I have met who left the military to make their wives happy appear to miss the life and be full of regret...how sad. Did you get an A-Pin?

Yes, from our son (Class of '89). Elmer had long before given away his "quota" of A-Pins (25? - 50? - who knows?). Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring?
Yes, didn't want anything else, anyone can wear a normal engagement ring. Only a few can wear the miniature. How did you handle the deployments?
accepted the circumstances (with pride) and learned to "go with the flow". Occasional separation...good or bad for a marriage?
Excellent. Separation teaches growth, independence, strength. Everyone in any marriage needs a little "space". The separations provide that.

The one question left out leaves a gaping hole. This question should be asked.
What is the effect of military life on children...good or bad?
I can't answer for other families, but only for ours....Our children all speak, at least, one foreign language in addition to excellent quality English. They are able to move well and confidently in any society, anywhere. They are bright, educated, competent and contributive. I often hear that military life keeps one's children away from family and grandparents, in particular. We got home to visit as often as possible and our parents traveled to wherever we were and loved and appreciated the opportunity to travel and "see the World".

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Received the e-mail about having been married at West Point I was married July 24th 1965 to my recently deceased husband Emanuel "Manny" Maimone class of 1965.

We were married at the Catholic Chapel It was our choice to go back to West Point to be married although admittedly we did not live far away as we came from New York City. We had spent much of our time together there so it seemed the right place to be married and West Point is beautiful.

It was very convenient to be married there because we used the Hotel Thayer for the rehersal dinner and the Officers Club for our reception..Everything was done extremely well. Our families and guests stayed at the Hotel Thayer and that again was very convenient.

We always liked going back to West Point and in fact I was just there over the weekend visiting my husband who is buried there. We have lots of memories connected to West Point and that is why we chose it for our final resting place.

Will try to send a picture on at a later date as I need some help doing that.

Carol Maimone
Emanuel Maimone

Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?
No.

If you were not married at WP, and were engaged while your spouse was there, why did you not get married there?
I was unprepared for marriage, and thought that most of the men were even less so. I received, Hell, I don't know, a dozen marriage proposals? Not because I am any great beauty or wit, either, mind you! Just because I was one of just 64 women in my class. I wanted to be out for a while, just to be sure the whole thing would stand the stress of real life first. I wanted a 6-year engagement. (He wouldn't give me that; we were married in August of '83. He graduated in May of '82, I graduated Dec of '82.) We were married at my "home town" chapel at Fort Belvoir, VA. As an Army brat myself, it was lovely to be able to call someplace "home." Dad retired in Alexandria, mostly in deference to the academic careers of my older siblings. So I was able to receive several sacraments at Fort Belvoir: confirmation, marriage, and the baptism of both of my daughters! There was more to draw me to Alexandria than to USMA. I was just so, so grateful to get away from West Point that I could not stand the idea of being married there. It would have been pretty easy to do that, too, as Kenny is from Peekskill, NY (15 minutes away) and my brother's family lives in NYC. But that wasn't enough to make me get married there. Took many years for me to view a visit to USMA as a positive thing.

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
Dandy. I am a proud Patriot.

What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
We PCS'ed once a year for about 6 years. When we moved to Hawaii in December '98, it was the 8th home for my 9 year-old, the 5th for my 6 year-old.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically?
I don't know. Ask my husband!

Did you get an A-pin?
Mom gave me Dad's A-pin. I would have nothing to do with one from my husband/classmate. I wore Mom's on my wedding day. I wore her dress, and I wore the pin the same way that she did when she was married in 1944.

Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring? If not, why?
No. I am a graduate, and am proud to wear my great big (medium-sized, actually) USMA ring. Mom gave me her miniature, though. I don't wear it.

How did you handle the deployments?
Piece o'cake. The only really difficult one was when I went to Desert Storm and Kenny was in grad school; he was able to care for our infant daughter. For that, I will always be grateful. But now that I am the dependent, rather than having 2 daughter dependents of my own, I am a very independent dependent. I enjoy helping the less experienced families to better cope with separations.

Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage?
Very good. It's just like anything---you have to do without it occasionally to really appreciate how good you have it. When you have a hangnail, you realize how nice it is to have healthy skin the rest of the time. When you live in Korea or Germany or Iraq, you realize how lucky you are to have running water for a toilet or water you can drink from the tap. When you see Saudi women forced to cover their entire body except for their eyes because they are such 3rd class citizens, when you hear of ramapant infanticide practiced upon the daughters of your Korean friends, you know how lucky you are to raise your children in the United States. When you have to be away from the person you love most in the world for unknown amounts of time, you know how much you love them.

Our marriage is very strong, and made all the stronger for having been tested. Returning from long deployments or hardship tours, and having been faithful to my husband, makes the return all the better. My husband is intensely proud of having been in Korea for 2 years and being one of 2 officers that did not experiment with the call girls in Songu-Ri. The girls knew it, and expressed their amazement about that when I flew in to visit him at Camp Pelham.

We have been married for 16 years, and it has been difficult at times. But our faith in God and our fidelity to one another has made every challenge easier, and every victory all the sweeter.

Celia A. FlorCruz, '82

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I married Brian Johnson in September of 1990 in our home at Ft. Bliss, Texas by our Battalion Chaplain with a few close friends before he deployed to Desert Storm. We had met at Ft. Bliss, Texas while he was in the S-3 shop and I was the 1-43 ADA S-2. So being active duty myself, I was able to understand the military life and was head of the family support group while he was deployed since I was not deployed. We moved to Ft. Polk, LA after Desert Storm where we were stationed for 2 and a half years and then to Winston_Salem,NC for 2 and a half years where Brian was the recruiting company commander. Brian then got out and we moved to Birmingham, Al for a year and are now in Brandon,MS for a few years. So we have not stopped moving and are kind of used to you. Haven't found a place we want to stay yet except NC where we hope to go back to.

His wife- Nancy

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Was engaged while Frank was there, did not get married there because: Only daughter, family very involved with local church, family wanted local wedding in Mt. Vernon, New York, on June 9, 1951.

What it was like to be married to the Army (actually Air Force): Exciting, felt very much a part of the life!

The most number of relocations made in a short period of two years: Dayton (WPAFB) Ohio, to Otis AFB, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, to Troy, New York (Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute), to Sudbury, Massachusetts (Hanscom AFB). Did this during 1960, 61 and 62.

Adjustments made to live with a West Pointer: Learned to accept what comes your way and appreciate quality time!

I did get an A-pin!!

I did not get a miniature as an engagement ring because at that time I wanted a conventional ring! However, I wanted and got a miniature 13 years later, and then realized how special a miniature really is!

I handled deployments very well! They were challenging, and we were very lucky however without too many lengthy separations.

I believe these separations were good for the marriage!

Anne Sisson, wife '51

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We were not convenient for family and friends to attend at WP. (graduated 4 Jun married 7 Jun)

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
The best

What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
22 re-locations in 17 years. Top-that.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically?
I'm neat and organized, but my WP husband is ridiculously neat and organized.

It worked for us and we had 3 hardship tours of separation and my WPer had other shorter trips which accounted for other separations.

I would do the "Army wife thing" over again in a heartbeat.

Loved it. Mrs. Jack Peters '58

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My husband, a 1990 graduate, and I were married at the Old Cadet Chapel at West Point on July 5, 1991. We were married there because my husband and I are of the Lutheran faith and it is W.P.'s Lutheran Chapel. It is also the church which he attended all four years while at the Academy.

It was wonderful being married in this chapel! I especially liked its small size, and the beauty of it and the grounds around it. It was also special because my husband new well of its chaplain, Pastor Robert Rose. Since both our families came from a distance (many from Minnesota where my husband is from) we didn't have hundreds of guests so the smallness of the chapel really suited us in that way. We had about 90 people attend and that included the wedding party.

Being married at West Point itself was special, of course. Who could ask for a better setting? The place had meant so much to both of us during his years there that it only made sense to get married there, too. We got married at West Point also because every guest had to travel. What I mean is, only my parents live in the little town in which I did most of my growing up. All the rest of my family lives in Connecticut, 7 hours away from my hometown! It was actually closer (more like 2 hours) for them to drive to W.P. than to my hometown. And my husband's family and friends live in Minnesota; we knew that they'd have to travel so why not pick a beautiful setting? Many of them made the event into a vacation... travelling on to NYC and so on. We got married on July 5 (which made for a great July 4th rehearsal picnic!) - many joked with my husband that the day before (July 4th) had truly been his *last* Independence Day!

Special memories? I remember being disappointed that it was drizzling that morning. I had my hopes set on having outdoor pictures, but that wasn't possible. People told me that it meant good luck and wealth; I know we've had the luck part, but I'm still waiting for the wealth!

Other than the days that I gave birth to my children, my wedding day at West Point was the absolute best day of my life! It was perfect. We had the reception at the Hotel Thayer where most of both families stayed (which made it very convenient for us all). Others stayed in motels down the road, which was also convenient.

The Thayer staff did a wonderful job. It's been almost 8 years now and people are still talking about the great buffet we had! Our photographer captured one terrific photo during our reception that stands out in my memory... it was of our wedding cake, with the window in view behind it, showing the Hudson River. And, just as he took the photo, a sailboat went by. So pretty to have the cake and this sailboat together! I'd scan it to you, but I don't have a scanner. My in-laws do, and we'll be living with them for a short time beginning April 29, 1999 when we'll be moving back to the US. We're currently living in Finland, on assignment with my husband's company (he's out of the military now). My in-law's email address is: rogerb@mnic.net

No, I did not get an A-pin nor did I receive a miniature as an engagement ring. Perhaps it was because we got engaged after graduation and not while he was at West Point. Mainly, though, I think he saw it as a somewhat outdated thing (like getting a fraternity pin?), and, actually, the two things never came up in conversation.

We were only in the Army for 4 years, stationed the whole time at Fort Carson in Colorado Springs, CO. We were married in 1991 during the summer of Desert Storm. (The closest John, my husband, got to the conflict was training National Guard troops in Texas that ended up going over to the Gulf.) So, I can't speak to relocations. For the most part, we enjoyed being in the Army. We liked the sense of family that being in the military offers, especially. Ultimately, though, we decided that we wanted to live closer to our own families, and raise our children in one place. Of course, here we are now living in Finland, but it's been our choice, not the army's.

The deployments weren't too terrible; the longest we were apart was for 5 weeks at one time. Since we didn't have kids, I think the separations weren't a bad thing for us or our marriage. It was good for me to have time alone to feel confident that I could certainly take care of myself! I think it was harder for John since most of his time away was spent in a cramped tank! We have both said that it would have been different if we had had children at the time. I don't think that then the separation from family is a positive thing. Also our separations averaged one week at a time, not months and months like others experience. I think that would have been much more difficult and straining. It's nice, and we believe important, to have your "own time" in a marriage, but it's pretty important to have a lot of time together, too.

The adjustments you make revolve largely around the deployments, I would say. Sometimes it can be life-or-death stuff, too, which makes for a large difference between you and the wife who simply sends her husband off to his desk job. Fortunately, it never came to anything like that for us. I can't think of any other "adjustments" - other than the moving around a lot, constantly leaving friends and family. But, as I said, we weren't in long enough for that to matter.

Well, I think that addresses most of your questions. I sure hope I was of some help!

I love, what I call, the "Rah-rah-rahness" of West Point! I love the tradition, the camaraderie, and the beautiful setting. Being married there was wonderful. It fulfilled all my dreams and expectations, it really did.

Thanks for listening to my story! Best wishes to you with your project.

Sincerely,
Kristin A. Bruellman
(John R. Bruellman, Class of 1990)

I married Walter H. Johnson on graduation day, 195l, in the Cadet Chapel at 4:30 p.m.

It was very exciting to be married at that time - although, now that I look back on it, I might say it was also hectic. The graduation ended about noon which didn't give us much time to get ready for the wedding. A wedding on graduation day was commonplace at West Point, though, and everyone in charge knew how to handle it so that we all felt ours was the only wedding taking place.

Of course I have many ,memories of my wedding day. I didn't get much sleep the night before. The graduation dance was held on the night of the fourth and after the dance everyone went to a local bar in Highland Falls. I would say that I got in bed about 5 am but I was young and didn't miss the sleep-.

The rehearsal was the afternoon of the 4th and was attended by everyone getting married in the Cadet Chapel. We all shared the cost of the flowers. (Since my mother had been planning my wedding from the day I was born, my father was delighted with the prices at West Point). John Hutson, a classmate of Walt's and one of our groomsmen, commented when seeing all the future brides and grooms at the rehearsal "This isn't love, its mass hysteria!!"

All of my clothes and also my bridesmaids were at Colonel Henry Tucker's house. They were wonderful and had everything ready for any emergency we might have had. We all dressed there before going to the chapel.

We got to the chapel and waited in the back of the church for the 4:00 wedding to finish, the chapel to clear and our guests to come in. The wedding went smoothly. When we left the church and walked under the swords, a photographer turned to my sister-in-law and told her that our photograph would be in the National Geographic. She didn't give it much thought and never mentioned it to us. So much to our surprise, when the May, 1952, issue of the magazine came out with an article about West Point - there was our picture - a full page, colored picture no less. Since I hadn't had formal pictures taken before the wedding, my mother was thrilled and felt this was her reward - she wrote to the National Geographic and ordered 10 copies and put most of them in her safe deposit box.

Since I lived in New Jersey before I was married, there were no problems with my family. Friends and family were able to drive to West Point for the wedding. Our reception was in Cullum Hall - we had an hour for the reception. However, it was lovely and I am sure all of our guests were thrilled to be able to visit West Point.

I don't quite know how to answer the question - Why were you married at West Point? My husband says because of tradition, but I don't think at that young age I knew much about Army tradition. I think I chose to be married there because it was such a breautiful chapel and seemed the right place to start off my marriage to an Army officer.

If you don't have a copy of the National Geographic - Walt can scan the picture for you at work. We don't have a scanner at home. So e-mail me if you would like it.

The only other picture we have that I think you might like is one of us cutting a rather small wedding cake with a large sword. Let us know if you would like that.

Hope this is helpful to you. One other small note - not that you would want this for a traditions story - but, I was married so long ago my wedding dress cost $98.

Judith H. Johnson (Judy)

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I realize I am breaking the rules by sending this to you. I asked my wife to send it as well.

1. We were married at the Catholic Chapel.

2. It was a beautiful Friday night in the Summer. The Chapel provided an intimate setting for this most joyous occasion. It was very picturesque as we passed under the sabres and greeted family and friends afterwards with the mighty Hudson in the background.

3. Too many to list them all. The day was perfect all the way through. Beautiful day, church and most of all, bride. The sermon by Father Owen Mullen (a Reservist from San Diego State University) was much a blur to me as I was rather caught in the moment, until I came out of my fog at the end when he said, "...And when our work is done, our course on earth is run, may it be said 'well done,' be thou at peace." The ceremony was followed by pictures at Battle Monument and the rock wall to the east on Trophy Point. The reception was at the O Club with a spectacular view of the river.

4. After being HS sweethearts, we really grew together during my 4 years at WP. We had spent so much time together there, especially during Plebe year, since I could not leave post. Most of the moments were not "tender", but they were special.

5. Most of our family was local.

6. I will try to dig a picture up and send it soon.

Rich Sellner

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My husband brought home an e-mail from the office that asked a series of questions to wives of West Pointers and asked me to respond.

Questions to those married at West Point:

We were married in the Old Cadet Chapel(in the cemetery) in December 1996. It was a fairy-tale wedding with Officers in uniform and all of the tradition of West Point.

USMA is where we met and had our first "official" date (100th night in March of 1995). The wedding day was a special day because it is the last time that we were able to get together with that many of my husband's classmates at a place important to both of us.

Planning the wedding was a little difficult because of the distance (my family lived in Philadelphia), but we knew quite a bit about West Point because I had brothers that graduated in 1994 and 1995.

Questions to all spouses:

I enjoy being a spouse to someone in the Army. He takes great pride in being an Army Officer. I am proud to be married to someone in, what I consider, the most honorable of all professions.

We have only had two assignments since my husband began an Army career. However, we have had four houses in that time.

There have not seemed to be too many adjustments in marriage to a West Pointer. We do have a few household decorations that we would not have if he had gone somewhere else.

I got an A-pin.

I did not get a miniature for an engagement ring. I wanted our marriage to be something seen separate from his school and his career. We are very proud of West Point, but it is not the basis for our marriage. Although it did play a very important role in the development of our relationship. I will be getting a miniature for our third anniversary this year.

Fortunately, we have not had to endure any long deployments (YET!). I do not mind occasional separation. It helps me get a lot accomplished that I have trouble doing while he around the house!

Charlene Miseli

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Hi, hope this response is not too late to be helpful. I am married to a West Point Graduate (5 years in June). We got engaged in December of his senior year at West Point and married in Seattle, WA that following June. We married in Seattle because that is where I grew up and the majority of our family and friends are from the West Coast. Also, I had no significant connection to West Point (other than it is my where my husband received his education) and therefore no desire to get married there.

I do not feel like I am married to the Army, although I guess it is not exactly the same as being married to a civilian. We have only re-located twice since we married and our second move to Hawaii has been wonderful. As far as adjustments I have needed to make in terms of being married to a "West Pointer" - they have been minimal, if we are looking at it separate from the adjustments made being a part of the military. I guess the biggest adjustment is attempting to get used to the huge egos adorning the majority of his classmates (and sometimes their spouses). Although I have to say I am finding that this seems to wear off a bit with maturity. No, I did not get an A pin and I did not get a miniature as an engagement ring. I do not define my marriage by West Point and therefore neither of us felt it appropriate to have a miniature as an engagement ring. I am not trying to sound negative about the whole West Point issue. I am very proud of my husband and am happy he received a good education, however, there is so much more to him than just four years spent at West Point and I get weary of people identifying with that one aspect. There are a lot of spouses out there that are also well educated and proud of their alma maters as well, but it still doesn't define them as individuals (or their spouses).

On the issue of deployments, they are never fun and contrary to popular

belief, it doesn't get easier and no, I never am happy to "get him out of my hair". But it is a side of the Army that you learn to adjust to and make the most of. Deployments are neither good nor bad for a marriage, as long as the marriage is strong and stable. Of course, the answer is different if there are existing problems in the marriage.

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Inputs from Jane Cronin wife of Jack Cronin WP49, 17042:

Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?
At Holy Trinity Chapel, 7Jun49, 4:30pm, four hours after my groom graduated.

What was it like being married there?
Thrilling and beautiful, just as our 50 years together have been.

What special memories does the day bring?
1) A wonderful day that fulfilled this girl's dream of love and marriage.
2) Both our families were there. As friends in 1947, they arranged the blind date meeting that resulted in our engagement in five days and our marriage in 1949. 3) Started my marvelous life with a special man, who fathered our children born in 1950 and 1951.

Why there?
I wanted to spend 1948-1949 at college days near Jack, who suggested Lady cliff College in Highland Falls. Lady cliff was, above near Jack - - and its Yankee girls made me welcome. It was a marvelous year, despite Jack's limited free time.

How did you deal with family needs?
Together we arranged for our parents, aunts and cousins (the usual inadequate) temporary lodging that was then available in Highland Falls. Our families were otherwise self- sufficient and enthusiastic supporters.

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
Unknown; we spent our time in the USAF, which was far less stuffy and formal than the Army. (Forty per cent of the 1949 class went directly into the USAF; similar percentages went to the USAF in 1948-1952, and declined in later years.

What were the most number of reallocations you made in a short period of time?
Five during 1951-1952: We moved from Pennsylvania in December 1951 to Largely AFB, Virginia where Jack finished round-the-clock flight training. In April 1952, I went to Texas until September when I and our two children traveled to join Jack in England. We then lived consecutively in two frigid places - - off base of course, trying to become warmer and to decrease our distance from Sculthorpe Air Base. We finally moved "up" and lived in 1953-55 on a dreary farm house. It was better (still frigid) but in a delightful village. Both our children attended a "council (public) school - - our daughter for two years, our son for one year. All four of us developed lifelong UK and US friendships. We visit the village often.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer?
None; he was and is a wonderful person.

Did you get an A-Pin ?
Yes.

Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring?
Yes, largely because of its low cost, but also because of its sentimental value.

How did you handle his deployments?
The separations were many and always unpleasant, but we weathered them. They also made me a strong mother. (And, I never ran home to my own mother!) Deployments are always unpleasant and trying for a couple, especially one deeply in love, but have to be accepted.

In the above picture, Jack isn't pleased to be reminded of his baggy Air Force Uniform. His entire class was compelled in early 1949 to buy the full compliment of ARMY uniforms. Later, the ill-advised order was rescinded, so Air Force grads were allowed to buy Air Force uniforms in some minimal amounts. He remembers dimly that his baggy duds were the closest fit he could get at the Cadet Store.

Below is Christina Jane Lemair, our great-granddaughter. Born July '98... we think she's georgeous!

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Hmm... about a West Point wedding... something unique and to be always remembered. So much of it was just a blur though. Paul ('87) and I were married in the Cadet Chapel - Chaplain Camp officiated.

My recollections can be a little fuzzy - the days leading up to the ceremony were just a rush. My family came from SC, Paul was coming from Knox and his family was from all over NY/Northeast. Getting everyone accommodated was a real challenge but somehow all got where they needed to be.

The evening rehearsal (the night before graduation I think) was a huge en masse "briefing" for everyone having a wedding that week. We even walked in late because my parents couldn't find a parking space. But the atmosphere of the chapel was calming and somewhat overwhelming... that is just its power. I had sung in the chapel choir (where I got to know Paul) and always felt that way when I entered. Awe struck is the best way to describe it I suppose. But being a grad marrying a grad, my feelings are probably much different for that old chapel than for someone not as familiar with the surroundings.

But I digress... We decided to marry at West Point after my graduation because it was the only place and time we could get all of our families in one place - especially with the distances involved.

By the time Paul and I had determined we wanted to marry after a lengthy engagement, it was already late September of 1988 - and graduation was just months away. Knowing how bizarre the bookings were already, I went to the chaplain's office - just hoping something would be open. I looked over a schedule that was out on the desk - crushed - nothing was open for over a solid week. As I stood there waiting for the "booking lady" on the phone, I heard her say - "I'm so sorry, but I'll take you off the schedule". Someone had called theirs off. She looked up at me and asked how she could help me. All I could say was "when were they scheduled?" So 1600 25 May 1989, the day after graduation, became my ceremony date and time.

Graduation day, 24 May 1989, was a miserable, raining, storming day - skies were jet black and the rain just poured. I was an emotional wreck - the thrill and joy of finally graduating and worrying that my wedding day would be ruined by the weather. But the next day dawned without a cloud in the sky - perfect and sunny. It all worked out. I remember arriving at the chapel as a complete nervous wreck - what bride doesn't - in wedding dress and a huge pair of sunglasses I nearly forgot to take off. While walking back down the aisle with Paul, there were many people I had no idea of who they were - and left the ceremony convinced they were from the previous one or just getting comfortable for the next one :-)

All of our 'posed' wedding pictures are at Trophy Point with the Hudson snaking through the background. I remember having groups of tourists walking by offering to take pictures for us.

Our reception later that evening was on the Superintendent's ferry - and was the biggest hit with everyone involved. My dad had put together tapes of all sorts of music: Motown, big bands to the chicken song, a Jewish wedding dance and even "Happy Birthday" (it was my sister's 15th birthday and she thought we would all forget :-)). We all had a fabulous time - lots of dancing and lots of food and drink. We were only supposed to be out on the river for three hours - but my parents had brought a well-stocked bar and offered a bottle of Crown Royal to the skipper - an extra hour out. To date that has been the best wedding party/reception I have ever attended - not just because it was mine - relatives still talk about it at other weddings. Seems like I had paid $10 or $15 for reserving the ferry. Everything was rather low key and nothing terribly fancy: multiple food trays from the Grand Union, self stocked bar and a wedding cake made by a family friend. But it was a wonderful time and I still consider myself to be a very lucky person :-)

Judith Krause, '89

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I married my HS sweetheart in the Catholic Chapel at West Point on May 30, 1986. We reserved the chapel for the June Week date during my husband's yearling year. We were able to reserve the ballroom at the Club over 500th night weekend, which was early, because my then future-mother-in-law had gone out with the then club-manager when they were in high school in Geneva, New York. It was a very lucky coincidence for us, because I believe we were the first reservation written in the book for that year, and we had our choice of dates and times.

Being married at West Point seemed more exciting than having a "regular" wedding to me. This could be just because it was my wedding day, maybe all brides feel as I did that day, but I still think there was something extra special about it. Many people are married in scenic and historic places, but the fact that we had gone to so many activities, hops, football games, etc over the previous four years made us feel that our relationship was very connected to the place.

We never considered being married anywhere else, and in the end it worked out perfectly, because my husband's parents had to fly over from Germany anyway, and their extended family lives in NY State, my mother's family in PA, so it was a good "compromise" location for everyone. Getting married during June Week gave both of our families the chance to witness Mike's graduation in addition to the wedding. Members of both of our families still talk about it!

Memories of the day: Sitting in the back of the limosine and seeing my husband in his blues for the first time through the tinted windows. He looked so handsome and nervous. I remember how nice the wedding hostess was. What would I have done without her? There was another wedding right after ours, so the priest allowed our photographer to take live photos of the ceremony, which was never done before. I love having real photos of our vows. My cousin stepped on my veil during the recessional, which really hurt! (I have a real photo of THAT, too!) I didn't know the tradition of being spanked with a saber, so when it happened, I was really surprised. Unfortunately, there are no photos of my completely unprepared reaction. The club sent my all-white wedding cake to a reception on a yacht, and I got their red-and-white one, which clashed with the pale pink bridesmaids dresses and flowers I'd chosen. There was an Air Force cake topper on it, and my smarty-pants friend Mary Ellen asked my darling groom if he'd just graduated from bus-driver school. (Maybe you will hear from the bride who got my cake!) My brother asked me to dance for the first time. I talked to everyone there, I had a wonderful time, I never wanted that day to end.

What is it like to be married to the Army? Is that a question for my husband? He's the one married to the Army, I'm the one who loves him so much that I have learned to love the military lifestyle. So I guess that makes me an in-law to the Army. I really try to keep my own identity.

I don't think we've had an extraordinary number of relocations, about 9 times in 13 years. Pretty average

I didn't get an A-pin, but I do have a miniature. My husband had already given me a solitaire engagement ring, but he was sweet enough to order me a miniature, too. I wear it on my right hand with a wedding band that's engraved "30 May 86 West Point". I wear the solitaire on my left hand, because he gave it to me first, but the miniature is my favorite, because it's so unique. People always notice it, and ask what it is.

Occasional separation has been neither good nor bad for our marriage. In other words, we don't enjoy it, but we don't let it hurt us, either.

Thanks for doing this project. Could you please let me know when the book is published? I would love to read all of the stories you've collected. And thanks for letting me share my thoughts with you. It's been fun.

Melia Flanagan

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Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?
Yes - Kathleen Erickson married Bill Pardue (class of 1975) on June 5, 1975, the day after the 1975 graduation.

Which chapel were you married in?
The Cadet Chapel

What was it like being married there?
It was WONDERFUL!! Aside from the fact that the Chapel was so large that it dwarfed my 300+ guests, it was truly an honor to be married in a place of such special significance. We were married by a priest who has known me since I was 12 years old. We had a large wedding party - 7 bridesmaids, 7 ushers, 2 flower girls. Walking down that immense aisle took my breath away - and while Bill was able to say his vows with a firm voice, I could barely get mine out for the huge lump in my throat.

What special memories does the day bring?
Hundreds of special memories .... Wishing my Dad could have been there to give me away. He passed away when I was 17. Having so many family and friends together at one time. Having my entire third grade class and their parents in attendance. My four-year old niece, Jennifer, getting scared and running down the aisle screaming, "Delane, Wait for me!!" (They were the two flower girls.) Having Bill's father, now gone, as best man. Having my cousin, now gone from Toxic Shock Syndrome, as a special part of that day. Watching most of my female relative in tears. Dancing at our wondeful reception at the Officer's Club in the ballroom overlooking the river.

Why there?
We chose to get married at WP because that was where we met.

How did you deal with family needs?
That part "had it's moments." My mother can be "difficult" when she wants to be - and she wanted to be! Bill's mother could be the same. We got room reservations for everyone at the Holiday Inn in Nanuet. Then Bill and I spent hours making EXTREMELY detailed maps and directions of how to get from every where to everywhere else .... From the hotel to the church. From the church to the O Club. From the O Club back to the hotel, to the Park Restaurant where we all met for breakfast, to the museum to show them around .... We told certain relatives that some events started an hour before they actually did because these relatives are habitually late. :-) We did the best we could, although there were more than a few "trying" moments in that regard!

Do you have one special photograph of the event that you can scan and send to us?
I can mail one.

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
We celebrate our 24th anniversary on June 5th. Bill is still serving on active duty and is now at the Pentagon. It's been pretty much of a roller coaster ride for the past 24 years. I have given up jobs I love to pack up and move home and hearth. I took a job as principal in a crime-ridden, drug-invested neighborhood in inner-city D.C. Bill went to Turkey and Bosnia for my first 18 months in this position. He left me with two teenagers and a beagle who firmly believes that carpets, school books, and anything laying on the floor should be peed on. While Bill was in Turkey, I was attacked by a former, disgruntled teacher who had embezzled money from the school. He wasn't happy when I discovered that, so he came back to school and attacked me. The kids and I lived under a modified restraining order for a while and ran up huge overseas telephone bills to Izmir trying to convince Bill that we were all "fine."

I am one of those fortunate Army wives who had my husband present at my children's births. For that, I am grateful. But of the 23 anniversaries so far, he has been home for two.

Our vacations usually consist of PCS moves and stops along the way. My son had six bedrooms before his first birthday, couldn't figure out how to operate an American doorknob after four years in Germany, (He was 5 when we got back.) and attended three different third grades. My daughter thought that all babysitters wore Cadet uniforms, (We were stationed at WP when she was little.) called every man in BDU's, "Daddy," and didn't understand why some of the kids at school had never lived outside of the town they were currently in.

What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
Six in one year. Fort Campbell to Fort Knox, to Fort Rucker, back to Fort Knox, to New Jersey, to Germany.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically?
You get tired of hearing non-West Point officers making derogatory remarks about West Point officers - especially hurtful on that point was my niece's in-laws. We've had lots of people look at our wedding picture and ask why we got married in a German castle. I've had lots of people ask me why I have diamonds in my high school ring. Your life sometimes seems guided by the current political climate, presidential decisions regarding any number of issues, promotion lists, military school selection lists, the next move, the new commander.... You deal with the ups and downs of military medical care

- at this post we have this available and at the next post we don't. I've watched the prices at the PX and commissary take jumps based on whoever the current president was. The biggest adjustment for me has been the constant job changes. I've been a school teacher for students of virtually every level from kindergarten through college, including basic skills for soldiers.

I've been a school counselor, an equal rights officer at FEMA, and now a principal. I "think" we are settled here for good, but I'm not going to bet the rent. The other major adjustment has been the housing changes and going from readily available quarters to never-available quarters, to renting, to owning, to having to sell the house I loved, to being able to buy a reasonably priced house, to moving to an area where renting a "closet" is a financial stretch. The adjustment on the kids is barely noticable. Kids are amazingly resilient.

One other adjustment is the comments you sometimes hear from non-military. They sometimes seem to believe that military people get enormous salaries, that there are huge quarters everywhere just waiting for us to move in, that items in the PX and commissary are free or cost almost nothing, that we can fly anywhere we want anytime we want for free ....

Did you get an A-pin?
Yes. I wear it to every Founder's Day. Bill gave it to me at Yearling Winter Weekend. I wore it on my wedding dress for "something blue" because it has blue stones in it.

Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring? If not, why?
Yes, with a blue stone the same as those in the A-pin circled by diamonds.

How did you handle the deployments?
You mean after I stopped crying?? You just "handle" it. You do what you have to do to survive. You stay busy taking care of kids, house, job .... You write lots of letters and you buy dozens of Hallmark cards that you forget to send. Sometimes you run up enormous telephone bills. You show the kids pictures of Dad. You try to assure the dog that the guy coming in the front door is not a stranger. When they go to places like Fort Irwin, you unpack their bags in the back yard so that you don't risk getting a scorpion in your laundry room. You promise the kids that Dad will bring you a great surprise. (My kids are 17 and 13. They still think MRE's are a great surprise.)

Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage?
Good, I think, although sometimes it has it's difficult moments. If you are having problems when they leave, chances are they will not magically clear up by the time they get home. But homecomings have their beautiful moments. Good if there is nothing major going on such as childbirth, a child's graduation, or a death in the family. Bad when you have problems or other issues that need work. Bad when you have just arrived in a new place, the wife has no clue where to find anything, and hubby goes off to play soldier.

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Hi! I'm an "all spouse."
1. We were 2 percenters: that is we found each other at age 15 and made it all the way through til graduation. We didn't get married there because, after four years of dating Bob Cairns '61 there, in 'opposite world', ie: I drive from D.C., or--in the case of Plebe Christmas--I fly from Seattle Washington and we are restricted to the weapons room for entertainment--he is not allowed to drive and so I'm the driver--I pay--you know the routine--we didn't want West Point to have anything to do with our wedding. In fact, neither of us wanted to ever see the place again because it was so intrusive. This attitude was short-lived--and we were thrilled to come back for Bob to teach 3 years in '73 and 5 years in '79.

2. Being married to the army before the years of hard-core feminism was something you just did. It took me some years to adjust to the intrusiveness of Army regs [ie: if he was in fatigues when I picked him up on post--I could stop nowhere--grocery, bakery, wherever--but had to go straight home, even tho' I passed all those potential errands on the way --cuz he couldn't be off-post in fatigues!] A big deal to independent me. But I learned to co-operate, often begrudgingly and without much grace. We loved our years in the Army--all 28 of them. The contemporaries at all postings became close friends quickly [had to be quick--we'd only have 2 or 3 years at the most]--and became surrogate family. When the men went to the field,or Thailand, or VietNam--we were there for each other. And we had a ball. None of us wives worked in those days, so we raised our babies together [4 in our case] baby sat for each other, played bridge together, and comforted one another as we waited through long lonely months of separation from our beloveds. Reliable child care was provided on post and we could drop babies off and run about to coffees and wive's club activities at will. Classmates and spouses made ready-made friendships wherever we were posted--and are now friends placed throughout the nation and world. When we travel we--or they 'drop-in'. We were paid $212 a month then, so our entertainment was inexpensive--bridge, scrabble, booze, desserts, and we had FUN! By the time we left the Army in '89 things were changing--Mom's were not home, kids were in all-day child-care and something had been lost.

3. # of postings? I don't know. Probably the first year of Airborne school [wives could come, too and we made our dear hubbies breakfast at 3 a.m. and went back to bed], Ranger School [wives could come for week-ends; hence our first babe was conceived there--that's not for publication], Fort Sill for basic, and, finally, Hawaii for a 3-year tour during which-- shortly after the birth of our little one-- Bob left for four months in Thailand.

4. Adjustments? I married the kindest, gentlest, dearest of men and I rather imagine he had to make more adjustments than I did. He was [I thought entirely too] modest about being a West Pointer. He did not wish to be categorized as what he called 'ring-knockers'.

5. Yes, I had [and have] a lovely blue sapphire A-pin that I still wear occasionally. It came off for a few [very few] months twice, but there was no-one like him, and it went back on.

6. Yes--a lovely white-gold diamond.

7. Deployments were something to be endured. The first one found us left in Oklahoma at Ft. Sill. Friends watched over us, activities were many, two babes kept me busy. The second found us near the city-center of Seattle [I did not feel my children were having enough association with blacks--Seattle was my town and I thought to make up for that lack]--and again, friends--old ones from high school--and new ones from the neighborhood watched over us ever so generously. We prayed alot cuz this was a VietNam tour.

8. I believe the frequent honeymoon status we found ourselves in because of the many long field trips, short tours, shorter [months long] tours, enhanced our marriage. Being together was such a treat--we treasured the time--knowing separation was always a possibility. We gave our home to the Lord Jesus Christ in the late '60s--and His joy and peace has kept us ever since. Retirement, of course, though Bob's an instructor at VMI, has been sheer delight because there are no more deployments. Alleluia.

Terry Cairns [Mrs. Robert B.]

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WERE YOU MARRIED AT WEST POINT? Yes, my sister Mary France s (Fran) Christensen and I married Clarence F. Horton (Bill) and Everett Eugene Christensen (Chris) June 5th 1946 ~ think it was the first double wedding at the point. Much later two brothers had a double wedding.

WHICH CHAPEL WERE YOU MARRIED IN? Cadet chapel was our church. (Our father was baseball Coach at USMA from 1936 to 1942 when he received a Captaincy in the Army Air Corps and went into WWII).

WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING MARRIED THERE? I remember the chapel was full!!!! Also there were a lot of photographers but all I could visualize was that long aisle. I was excited but did remember not to move until the chaplain asked "who gives these women in marriage?" our Father could not move backward after saying" I do" or he would have walked on our trains. remember, he had a daughter on each arm so Fran and I moved forward.

WHY THERE? Never thought of any other church.

HOW DID YOU DEAL WITH FAMILY NEEDS? I didn't. My mother placed out of town family in friend's homes and rented other rooms. Bill was lucky he drew the Thayer for his parents in the lottery. I'm mailing copies of pictures of Fran and I and our parents, major and Mrs. Walter f. French, also one of me admiring bill's class ring. Note my a-pin.

SO WHAT WAS IT LIKE BEING MARRIED TO THE ARMY AIR CORPS (LATER THE US AIR FORCE)'? I knew quite a lot about army life so I knew his job came first and his dedication to country was never questioned. We were young and happy so life was wonderful, ready for the next assignment.

WHAT WERE THE MOST NUMBER OF RELOCATIONS YOU MADE IN A SHORT PERIOD OF TIME? From June '46 to march 48. Four. Also survival school for bill in between.

WHAT ADJUSTMENTS DOES A SPOUSE MAKE TO LlVE WITH A WEST POINTER~ when you say all right sir" you are telling him the absolute truth whether it's "the other car was at fault, I'm out of grocery money or I'm pregnant". He will never fold another garment, carry a bag of groceries or an armful of baby that is, until he grows a little older.

DID YOU HAVE AN A-PIN? Yes, never go on flirty without an a-pin!

DID YOU GET A MINIATURE AS AN ENGAGEMENT RING?.Yes, exactly like his class ring.

HOW DID YOU HANDLE THE DEPLOYMENTS? short tdys were a time to catch up on the ironing. Washing walls and finger prints so that you would have free time when he returned. Three months and longer were difficult for me. early in his career we didn't have ex'i'ra money so you stay home a lot. Later, you are in total charge of your teenagers, college entrances, wedding etc. etc. luckily we could afford the phone bills.

OCCASIONAL SEPARATIONS... GOOD OR BAD FOR A MARRIAGE. That depends on the trust in the marriage. Short absences are good for both of you. What your country calls you to do, you both do to the best of your ability so if it's a long time apart you handle it!. Good luck with your book. We'll be looking for it.
Ann French Horton

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Were you married in one of the Chapel's at WP?
No, John B. Lewis and Frances T. Shouse were married in Blytheville, Arkansas.

If you were not married at WP, and were engaged while your spouse was there, why did you not get married there?
Yes, we were engaged the summer before John's first class year. All of our friends and relatives were in Arkansas and would not have been able to come to West Point for the ceremony.

So, what is it like to be married to the Army?
There was a real adjustment and change in attitude necessary for me. Except for brief vacations, I had hardly been out of the state of Arkansas. Marriage to my husband and the Army turned out to be a real exciting adventure and an experience I grew to love. The Army was not new to John because he had grown up as an Army brat and knew what to expect. Since John's retirement, I must confess I have missed the Army a great deal. We still keep up with many of our close Army friends.

What were the most number of re-locations you made in a short period of time?
There were three relocations in the first year of our marriage.

What adjustments does a Spouse make to live with a West Pointer specifically?
Accepting the fact that your husband will be away many evenings, perhaps days, weeks and months, even when special events are taking place in your family, like anniversaries, birthdays, or the births of your children was the hardest adjustment for me.

Separation from other close family members must come in a close second.

Did you get an A-pin?
Yes, I did and I treasure it. John's father and two uncles were West Point graduates also, so the A-pin is almost symbolic of the whole family.

Did you get a miniature as an engagement ring? If not, why?
Yes, and it has always caught the eye of people who are not familiar with the academy tradition. Explaining the ring to them has always been a delight to me.

How did you handle the deployments?
I handled the deployments in the traditional Army manner with as much bravery as I could muster. I always found a place in which to live in my hometown where friends and relatives helped to ease the situation. Of course our three children took up most of my time. It was sad that John had to miss this time with them.

Occasional separation ... good or bad for a marriage?
We had only two lengthy separations......Korea and Vietnam......and the time proved lonely for both of us, but I can't say it was bad for our marriage since we were and still are both dedicated to one another.

Fran Lewis

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Our ties to the Cadet Chapel are quite strong. In addition to our wedding, we were members of the Episcopal Congregation that had services at the Chapel for many years, both of our children were confirmed in the Cadet Chapel, and, most recently, our daughter was married there to a Class of 96 grad. Chaplain (Col. ret) Ray Bradley came back to West Point to perform her wedding. If we can be said to have a "home church," then the Cadet Chapel is certainly ours.

My husband and I dated for 2 1/2 years while he was a cadet. Yes, I did get an A Pin, and yes, I do have a WP miniature engagement ring, too. Both are very meaningful to me.

We were married at the Cadet Chapel on 20 December, 1970. Chaplain Michael Easterling performed the ceremony. This was a Sunday morning wedding, and we were told it was the first ever in the Cadet Chapel. Doctor Davis, the Cadet Chapel organist for many years, and a good friend, researched our wedding as being the first ever held at that time, and could find no other. That particular Sunday was the first time that there were no Cadet services, as it was the first time that Cadets left for Christmas holidays so early.

Our families all were from New Jersey and Upstate New York. Most were able to drive down or up for our wedding, and there were some who just stayed at the Hotel Thayer. We were fortunate weather-wise, because the weekend before we got married there was a tremendous ice storm, and the weekend afterwards there was a terrible blizzard. God certainly was looking out for us and all those travelling to West Point!

The Episcopal Congregation was never a large one, perhaps 60-100 people, but Doctor Davis always was a part of our services, and we did a lot with all of the Episcopal Cadets. Father Ray Bradley was the Chaplain there in 1982 to 1986. What a wonderful priest.

Our daughter, Megan, a graduate of Norwick University in Vermont, was married at the Cadet Chapel on 12 October 1997. Her husband, Patrick Gray, graduated in 1996. They are both now 1LTs in the MI Corps and are stationed at Camp Zama, Japan.

Their wedding took a great deal of planning, as at the time, Megan was stationed in Korea, Patrick was in Japan, our son and his wife were living in England, and my husband and I were stationed in Naples, Italy! I should mention that members of the wedding party came from England, Japan, Hawaii, Texas, North Carolina, California, Ohio, Kentucky, Florida, and Alabama. We did a lot via phone calls, letters, and of course, by email. Rooms were reserved at the Hotel Thayer about 10 months ahead of time. Our side of the family came from all over the east coast, and the groom's side from the west coast. Sounds like a logistical nightmare, right? Well, I kept lists of everything (everything!!). And everyone wound up in the right places at the right times. The wedding was wonderful and people are still talking about the great time they had.

The reception for our wedding was at the Officers' Club, and for our daughter, at the Hotel Thayer. Both places treated us like royalty.

Military life was just wonderful, and we loved it. My husband retired as a Colonel in 1997 after 27 years service. He is now the Dean of a Community College here in West Virginia. I still miss the military lifestyle. We've made so many friends from so many different places. Wouldn't trade a minute.

In those 27 years, we moved 22 times. The physical part of a move is awful, but we always loved going to new places, and making new friends. We lived 10 years in Germany, 2 years in Belgium and 3 years in Italy. We travelled as much as we could. Our children even attended German high schools, and we all speak German.

Our children are regular military brats. They used to grumble on occasion about moving, but we were always positive. I think that they are far better persons, more tolerant and with far better understanding of the world than your average American.

Diane Driscoll (Bob Driscoll)

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