Uzbekistan!

July 2003

So the Geography and Russian Departments at West Point got to gether to send a few of us overseas on a tour of Uzbekistan. Get paid to tour the world? Who can turn that down? So our journey actually began in Kazahkstan, and the first week in Uzbekistan was spent in their military academy -- a good time, but those pics will come later. Anyway, We spent time in Tashkent, Khiva, Bukhara, and Samarkand. Tashkent is a rather modernized, beautiful city. Bukhara is kind of old and out there, but probably has the coolest architecture. Samarkand, though, is definitely the place to go for magic carpets.

When i say architecture, i mean old stuffs. Without going too much into the history of the land, the most impressive buildings were built during the time Europe was in it's "dark age." Just like the castles of Europe, the fortresses of Islam were built to impress. But where Eurpoeans used simple stone, these fortresses used colored ceramic tiles that glowed brilliantly in the sun.

Anyway, so being Islamic, they were really big on building Mudrassas, Mosques, and Minnorets. Samarkand's infrastructure operates almost exclusively from former Mudrassas. Most people by now have figured out that a Mosque is like a church. Well, Mudrassas are schools, and Minnorets are towers. Mudrassas are religious schools, but during the time period they were the only schools, and while of course heavily based in the Koran, they did all the engineering, science, math, and feel-goody junk as well.

So they did pretty well, building their M&M&M's, until Ghengis Khan sent a convoy of about 50 camels over to do a little trade. The Uzbeks killed the merchants and just took all the goods for themselves. Well, after a while Ghengis starts to wonder what's taking his convoys so long and sends 3 wise men in to investigate (and no, they didn't come bearing gifts from afar... wrong story). So they kill two of them, and burn the third's beard off and send him away. Needless to say, the Khan was none too happy to hear the news. Or he may have been happy, on account of another chance to break out the black feather stick. So this time, he didn't play around. Three seperate armies each with it's own axis of advance quickly pacified the entire kingdom but for the capitol.

This is the courtyard where Ghengis Khan held all the wealthy people's children for randsom, and then upon delivery, killed them all anyway. Rough times.

The Minarets were technically prayer towers, but they also enjoyed service as platforms for public execution. Common practices were hanging people from posts on the walls, pushing them from the top, beheadings, throat-slittings, live burials, being tied down out in the desert, etc.. They even had a few non-capitol punishments, such as tying you in a burlap sack with a couple of wild cats, then beating the entire group with sticks, mostly to agitate the cats. Personally, I can think of better ways to get my back scratched.

As Ghengis Khan was putting the finishing touches on his rampage, he paused to look up at this tower, the top of which was so high it caused his hat to fall off (they wore big, heavy, awkward hats, cause they were cool and whatnot) As he bent over to pick it up he remarked that this tower was the only thing he'd ever bowed to.

The people had their vengence, however, when Ghengis had a drink with ice made from the local -infested- water, and spent the next several days with debilitating diahrea. To prevent this he instituted a fizzy-water only policy, which held up until they realized that American tourists (the ones with money..) don't like soda water. But seriously, travellers back then would always have gold and silver rings. The silver were to treat the water so that they could drink it safely. The gold were in case they got robbed they could trade it for a camel and enough food and water to make it home. If they had enough gold, however, they could forgo the camel and get a magic carpet, and be home in a matter of minutes.

Okay, while I never actually saw this silk carpet fly, for five thousand dollars I figure it better be able to fly, do tricks, and come with power steering, dual climate control, and cup-holders. It is certainly quite pleasing to look at though. Not quite as pretty, though no less interesting, are the mulberry trees. This one is a few hundred years old. The oldest tree (which i saw and ate under, but failed to take a picture of) was planted not long before Columbus took to the seas. It looks a lot like this one, only three times as wide, not quite as tall, and way more squaggly. Apperently the local government, while not giving a hoot about corruption and the like, kept good records on its trees.