Recently I have seen many definitions of family. Here are some of them from some Albuquerque High School students:

"What makes a family is not necessarily a genetic relation but rather the nurturing and loving qualities of acceptance."

"Without family, without the people we love, we would be alone."

"A family is a group of people who trust and confide in one another."

"I think that love, support and responsibility define a family."

"Families are what people make of them. They are not alike in a qualitative sense, but there is a thread that connects all of them. You don't need a father, you don't need a mother, you don't need a brother or a sister, all you need is people who care for you, people who support you, people who respect your decisions, and good communication."

I would like to think that is what we have in the Chacon family, but we need to improve our communication. We are not the "family" you see on TV nor do we need to be. Our communication needs to improve and to do that there are three things that I want to pass on to those who follow. The first is to have faith in yourself because your family will always be there to back you up. The other is to respect people's "otherness" and allow "others" their "space." The third is; keep in touch.

Let me explain. One thing I learned from our little Dolóres many years ago was to respect "otherness." I say little, because she must have been eight years old, or so. I had corrected her about something she did or said, and she responded, "But Daddy, I am another person!" It took many years for this old geezer to really understand the meaning of that remark. Now in my advanced years it comes back to haunt me every so often. Sometimes I even ask myself, "Who am I?" The answer is I am a Mexican American. (Notice I do not use the hyphen.) I am comfortable with Hispanic, Chicano or even Spanish American. It gives me pause to be referred to as American. To me American comes across as elitist, perhaps because of the "white" experience in the United States of North America. To me, beginning in the far north of this continent, the people from Greenland and Canada are Americans, so are we, as are the people from Mexico, Guatemala, Argentina and Peru. The term I really despise is Latino as it conjures something out of the Roman Empire in my mind and I can't really fathom that. The politically correct movement seems to prefer Latino. I prefer Indo-Hispanic. (Notice I do use the hyphen here.) So what is the difference? There is one to me. A big one. Teach tolerance I say. Respect "otherness" and try to understand.

Allowing others their "space" has to do with values and values define everything. As a Mexican American I was brought up with a specific set of values that have always been very meaningful to me. My childhood stories still come back to my mind; all value laden and I am pretty proud of that. That's what makes me who I am. I was 73 years old when I first consulted my birth certificate on the subject and found out I am W-H-I-T-E. Can't we do this again? I consulted my Motor Vehicle Driver's License and I discovered that I am caucasian. What is that? I really was not sure, so I looked it up in the Dictionary. This is what I found out; "1. of or relating to the Caucasus or its inhabitants 2 a: of or relating to the white race of mankind as classified according to physical features b: of or relating to the white race as defined by law specifically as composed of persons of European, No. African, or southwest Asian ancestry." Since I was still confused I requested help from the Department Vital Statistics of my State. They say I am W-H-I-T-E. Now what do I do? I have been telling everyone who wanted to know, and some who did not or did not care, that I am a Mexican; or I am a Chicano, or I am a Chicas Patas. I eventually coined my own term, I am Indo Hispanic.

My birth certificate says I am White and my Passport says I am American but please respect my "otherness" and my "space" and do not call me Whitey or American. My family must understand this.

So there! Se quien soy!