God Bless them thar dern Cowboys!
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I ain't much for shopping,
Or for goin'into town
Except at cattle-shipping time,
I ain't too easily found.
But the day came when I had to go -
I left the kids with Ma.
But
'fore I left, she asked me,
"Would you pick me up a bra?"
So without thinkin' I said, "Sure,"
How tough could that job be?
An' I bent down and kissed
her
An' said, "I'll be back by three."
Well, I done the things I needed,
But I started to regret
Ever offering to buy that thing -
I worked me up a sweat.
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I walked into the ladies shop
My hat pulled over my eyes,
I didn't want to take a chance
On bein' recognized.
I walked up to the sales clerk -
I didn't hem or haw -
I told that lady right straight out,
"I'm here to buy a bra."
From behind I heard some snickers,
So I turned around to see
Every woman in that store
Was a'gawkin' right at me!
"What kind would you be looking for?"
Well, I just scratched my head.
I'd only seen one kind before,
"Thought bras was bras," I said.
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She gave me a
disgusted look,
"Well sir, that's where
you're wrong.
Follow me," I heard her
say,
Like a dog, I tagged
along.
She took me down this
alley
Where bras was on display.
I thought
my jaw would hit the floor
When I saw that
lingerie.
That I'd never seen
before
I thought I'd go plumb
crazy
'fore I left that
women's store.
They had bras you wear
for eighteen hours
And bras that cross your
heart.
There was bras that lift
and separate,
And that was just the
start.
They had bras
that made you feel
Like you ain't wearing one
at all,
And bras that you can train
in
When you start off when you're
small.
Well, I finally made my
mind up -
Picked a black and lacy one
-
I told the lady, "Bag it up,"
And
figured I was done.
But then she asked me
for the size
I didn't hesitate
I knew that
measurement by heart,
"A
six-and-seven-eighths."
"Six and seven eighths
you say?
That really isn't
right."
"Oh,
yes ma'am! I'm real positive
I measured them last night!"
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I thought that
she'd go into shock,
Musta took her by
surprise
When I told her that my wife's
bust
Was the same as my hat
size.
"That's what I used to
measure with,
I figured it was fair,
But
if I'm wrong, I'm sorry ma'am."
This drew
another stare.
By now a crowd had
gathered
And they all was crackin' up
When
the lady asked to see my hat,
To measure for
the cup.
When she finally had it
figured,
I gave the gal her pay.
Then I
turned to leave the store,
Tipped my hat and said, "Good
day."
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My wife had
heard the story
'fore I ever made it
home.
She'd talked to fifteen women
Who
called her on the phone.
She was still
a-laughin'
But by then I didn't care.
Now
she don't ask and I don't shop
For women's
underwear.
Author Unknown
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Ur Frend Andy