Golf Truisms
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If it ain't broke...try changing your grip. When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club...or two more balls. If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there. No matter how bad you are playing...it is always possible to play worse. The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors. Golfers who claim they don't cheat also lie. Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot. A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck. "Non-chalant" putts count the same as "chalant" putts. It's not a gimme if you're still away. The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree. There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it. You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two-inch branch 90% of the time. If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age. The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental. Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three. Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibri um of the universe. To calculate the speed of a players downswing, multiply the speed of his back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing = 300 mph. There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one in wearing the glove. Hazards attract...fairways repel. You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball. A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours. If there is a ball in the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker. If both balls are in the bunker...yours is in the footprint. Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to THROW it. Always remember to have fun...and enjoy yourself...it's only a game, RIGHT!!
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