Those of you who can remember the weekend probably didn’t have as much fun as those who can’t, but you may have had more fun than me. That’s because I went sailing. Sailing is a wonderful sport created hundreds of years ago when men who couldn’t stand their wives decided to leave home for two years at a time and work on large ships. These ships were propelled by catching the wind in large sails made of dozens of bedsheets sewn together. The trick with sailing back then was to a) keep the sail full of air, b) keep the sailor full of rum, and c) keep the treasure maps full of vague directions. This allowed sailors to happily roam the oceans, occasionally plundering tropical islands, and still arrive home in time for dinner (two years later).

Those who know enough about ships to know I know next to nothing also know that these ships were remarkably sturdy, with a wide center and a deep draft that prevented them from rocking too much. Needless to say, the sailboat I was on last weekend had no such amenities.

The Sunfish, as it’s called, is approximately twelve feet long. I’m sure that one person could comfortably sit in it and be stable in the water. With three people on it, however, it displays the same stability as a Montana militiaman. Maybe less.

My two accomplices in this adventure, Jen and Megan, found out that I had some sailing experience. This experience consisted of sitting in my uncle’s boat letting him do all the work and being able to guess, in two tries or less, which end of the boat is the stern. Of course, they were more than happy to let me be the captain of the ship. Undaunted by our total lack of experience, we set out.

Sailing has one general rule: the mast should always remain out of the water while the keel should always remain underwater. Roughly two minutes after setting out, we undertook to violate this rule. Having proved a complete disregard for the rules of sailing, we climbed back in the boat wetter and wiser.

We finally made it too shore again some 45 minutes later. I think next time the America’s Cup race is on I’ll take a look. If any of you wish to try sailing, I recommend you consume vast quantities of some beverage before hand, dress warmly, and tell Aunt Bertha to stay on shore.