Topless, with Bob Dole

New York has succeeded once more in spending money to prove what is inherently obvious to the rest of us. An AP wire report stated that Judge John Martin has ruled that men's breasts are not as erotic as women's. This ruling came as a result of a case which challenged New York City's ban on topless bars in residential areas. The attorneys for a particular establishment argued that this 1995 law is discriminatory since it doesn't prohibit men from baring their chests. The judge's decision stated that "if 10 topless women were walking down Park Avenue and 10 topless men were walking down Madison Avenue, the effect on the traffic on Park Avenue would be substantially greater than Madison Avenue." Well Judge, thanks for clearing that up.

This incident is probably the best argument for limited government around. I mean, don't judges in New York City have better things to do with their time than judge the sexuality of one's chest based on gender? I realize that NYC is enjoying its lowest crime rate in decades, but surely not all the crooks are taking the year off. Somebody's got to be doing something illegal, or the Post would run out of things to write about. Call me crazy, but I thought this question had already been resolved through years of evolution.

On a different note, former Senate leader Bob Dole has decided to loan Speaker Newt Gingrich the $300,000 he needs to pay off his fine. To most people, this is an incredible amount of money to possess, let alone loan out. In these modern times though, it's not an uncommon event. I can't count the number of times I've lent my roommate a couple grand to spend a quick weekend in the Caribbean. And he's let me borrow his Ferrari a couple times to go to the store for some milk. I guess it's just a product of our times, but we're much better off than our forefathers. I just hope Bob Dole is better at drafting a loan contract than he was as running for office.

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