Our first story comes to us from Salida City, Colorado. It seems that the citizens of this town have taken a tough stand on loitering. A new law there makes it illegal to spend more than five minutes in one public place after eleven p.m. “One public place” is defined as “any two points within two hundred feet of each other.” The fact that waiting in line at the movies is now illegal doesn’t faze the resolute citizens of Salida City. In fact, the original bill prohibited “lingering,” “tarrying,” and “standing idly about” as well as loitering, and was in effect all day.

Moving back east and south, we come to Louisiana. This state is the only one in the Union whose laws are based on French law, so it’s no wonder they come up with some real winners. Recently, the Louisiana legislature passed a law to deter carjacking which said that “deadly force [is] justified” when a person is “reasonably believed” to be trying to break into your car. The bill was passed after a heated debate where Billy Bob accused Bubba of stealing one of his prize-winning ‘coon dogs. Bubba promptly shot Billy Bob, alleging that his deadly force was justified. I would have explained to them that this law seems medieval, but then I’d have to explain what “medieval” means. Michael Bowers, the Republican nominee for governor of Georgia, said of the new law that “Carjackers shot dead won’t be carjacking anyone else.” Exactly right Mike. By that logic, we could rid society of jaywalkers, speeding ticket earners, and tax evaders. Maybe Salida City should think about getting a tougher loitering law. After all, loiterers shot dead. . . .