PIG EARS

Lots of parents become frustrated with kids who are picky eaters. We didn't really have too much of a problem with that. Ceda believes that all things sold as food must be good to eat and she prepares and serves most of them. There are things I don't like and there are things our kids didn't like. Of course, the things I don't like aren't fit to eat. The kids were "missing some wonderful stuff."

Our eldest, Greg, who was idolized by his sisters, suddenly decided one day that he didn't like mushrooms. He had been eating things with mushrooms in them his whole life and not objecting, but for whatever reason decided that "they're gross" and announced that henceforth he didn't eat them. His sisters, who likewise had been eating them without comment, instantly agreed that they didn't eat mushrooms either. The problem was that Ceda put mushrooms into lots of different dishes. They were a staple for her. The kids now were saying they wouldn't eat those things. Ceda paid little heed and continued to put mushrooms into dishes, but the kids picked them out. It was the beginning of pickiness.

Over time the list of things they didn't eat grew. Ceda pretty much ignored it but the three of them were now operating as a team, declaring this or that to be gross or slimy and asking for something else instead. Ceda's sense of humor on this issue was growing thin.

Then one day she was looking for something in the supermarket when she came across frozen pig ears. She was so amused by finding pig ears in the meat section that she bought a pair to show everyone. We parents had the idea that the pig ears could be a substitute for anything the kids didn't want to eat, so we kept them in the freezer and every time someone said he or she didn't want to eat something served for a meal he was offered the pig ears. They lasted the whole year, uneaten of course, until we moved to Germany. Right before leaving we were invited to a party and took them on a silver platter that we placed upon the food table without comment. We didn't take them with us when we went home. They were still uneaten.

Our kids are grown now and dealing with kids of their own. They pretty much let their kids eat whatever they want. We think they might benefit from a pair of pig ears in the freezer but, of course, we say nothing not wanting to be pushy parents. Meanwhile, our kids love to tell people how abused they were in their childhood. Their parents actually offered them pig ears to eat -- frozen pig ears at that. Their friends think we're weird. You don't think we're weird, do you? Do you?