|On the shores of Kitchy Gumi,
Where the mesa's mighty roomy,
Lived a half-forgotten people,
Lived a race of mighty soldiers,
Warriors all with mighty shoulders,
Hunted all the deer and panther,
Killed the beaver and the bison,
Till the floods of Kitchy Glimi
Rose and swallowed all the tepees,
Then the chiefs Pasqual and Thunder
Saw that they must have a squatter ,
One who knew the ways of water,
Knew the thermo and hydro.
Said the chiefs, "We'll call a council,
All our young and mighty warriors
Will compete and we will chose one
Whom we'll send to gain this knowledge,
All the knowledge of the white man.
He shall engineer our labor.
We will tame the Kitchy Gumi,
And this man, our greatest warrior,
We shall choose from our great contest.
He must swim the mighty Gumi,
He must kill the mighty Bison,
He must be the best among us."
Called they then this worthy contest.
All the braves from all the counties
Came to swim the Kitchy Gumi,
But among the bravest warriors
Only one swam up the river,
Reached the headway of the Gumi.
Forthwith all the greatest warriors
Went to hunt the shaggy bison,
Killed they each a shaggy bison,
But among the biggest trophies
Stood the prize of Higher Water;
Taller by a centimeter
Stood the prize of Higher Water.
Then they held an arrow contest,
But none could throw a keener dart
Than the great-brave Higher Water.
Said they then "Hail Higher Water!
He shall be our engineer ,
He shall build the dam called Gumi."
Spoke they then to Higher Water,
"You are now our greatest warrior ;
You must study at the USMAY,
You must learn the ways of knowledge,
Learn the squads both left and right,
Learn the hottest carnot cycle,
Learn the ways of running water,
Sinuous and laminar.
You must study learn these secrets,
Return to build the dam called Gumi.
Forthwith to the eastward,
Came Higher Water of the Gumis,
To be New Cadet Higher Water.
Years may pass and legend blossom
In the halls of all the new gyms
Of the ancient school called Usmay;
But among its greatest heroes,
But among its greatest specoids,
But among its greatest sound-offs,
Stands the name of Higher Water.
Still among the sinks is whispered
All the deeds of Higher Water;
How he knew the score forthwith,
How the detail gathered 'round him
Not to haze and not to threaten,
But to watch and learn from him.
Having seen his snappy salute
Turned their backs and blushing praised him.
Whispered of his mighty prowess
At the squads both left and right ;
None could hold a faster pivot,
None could do a quicker oblique,
None could boast a better manual,
Than the Gumi Higher Water.
Never saw the awkward squad,
Never heard the words "police call",
Never knew the threat of "quill".
And indeed when Higher Water
Moved from barracks to the camp,
It is said the commandant
Wished to make him new-First-Captain
During all the Yearling dead-beat,
For he was best among them.
Only Higher Water,
Knowing well the ways of boning,
Said, "Let me be among my classmates,
Let me be a plebe for a plebe year.
I must tread the path of others".
There in summer camp the Gumi
Learned the better ways of camping,
How to use mosquito bars,
How to answer all the first calls,
Earned the name "Chief Higher Water".
Then the months rolled down the Hudson,
And the rain poured down the camp streets,
And the morning dew grew colder;
Came the moving back to barracks,
Came the thought of academics;
And the word was whispered 'mong them
Higher Water knew no science ;
How he'd entered on a dog pass
From the college Kitchy Gumi,
How the math was strange to him.
And 'twas whispered 'bout the corps,
"He will leave us, come Noel".
But they knew not Higher Water,
For he was a super-specoid
And to boot he hived the stuff;
Trig and solid were his language
As was English and the Francais.
Spec or science stopped him little.
And the chiefs Pasqual and Thunder,
Seeing all his monthly reports,
Math. ..one. ..French. ..one. ..demerits none,
Said, "Ah, yes, the best among us".
Heard the chiefs the roaring waters
0f the churning, seething Gumi ...
Said. "He will tame thee,
He will stop the Gumi waters."
Then Higher Water, learning science,
Paused to play the game called foot-ball ;
Punter of a hundred yards,
Runner in an open field,
Such that in the course of C squad
He was tackled never once.
And the coach who saw the runnin!;
Seeing how he left behind him,
Scattered from the goal to goal
All the heavy opposition,
Said, "Put him on A. squad,
He will coach the varsity".
Came the turnouts of the first half,
Higher Water studied not,
But he dragged the very "pro-est",
Dragged a Gumi from his Podunk,
0. A. 0., plenty Pro.
When the ice was on the Hudson,
|When the gloom came from the Northway
And the corps slept through the winter,
Higher Water learned his lessons
Both the analyt and the trig,
Learned the drawing and the solid,
Said with every passing day,
"I will tame the mighty Gumi,
I will stop the roaring waters".
Studied, ranked, and played the corps squad,
Though the corps slept through the winter,
Little slept Higher Water.
One. ..one. ..one. ..his monthly reports ;
And he played the game of B. ball
As he played the game of foot-ball,
Never learning how to dribble,
For he shot his surest baskets
When a full floor length away.
And ill spring he ran the track,
And so great his mighty prowess,
That he did all track and field work.
So that when the days of June
Came once more, and graduation,
Higher than he ranked no higher ;
Corporal number one they named him,
And upon his collar shone
Little bits of shilling mustard.
And he thought the first is over,
Three more years to learn and study,
Three more years the roaring waters
Will return to drown my people,
But the fourth I will have stopped them.
So to camp moved Higher Water
There to learn the ways of "fall out",
Learned to see more moving pictures,
Danced again at Cullum Hall,
Learned the ways of being Captain,
Saw again the months roll by,
Saw the summer quickly passing,
Saw again before he knew it
All the trials of the yearling;
Returned again to learn and study,
Returned to learn the yell ..."yeah furlough".
And the months of coming studies
Saw the warrior steeped in work.
Then he learned the ways of Newton,
Then he learned to integrate,
Learned the key of all man's magic ;
Force is only equal to
All the mass accelerated.
Learned the ways of all the physics,
And h is rank was well accepted ;
None there was among. the cadets
Who could hive like Higher Water.
Once again he played the football,
And the foes of the great Army
Quaked to hear the mighty threat,
Higher Water. ..quarter back.
As again, in game of B. ball,
Army was the best of all teams,
Army ranking number one,
As the rank of Higher Water.
All the days slipped from his fingers,
All the knowledge well begotten,
Higher Water came to furlough,
Higher Water corporal,
Higher Water number one,
Higher Water second classman.
Then in truth he really studied,
Then he learned of flowing water ,
Learned the hottest carnot cycle,
Learned to say, "Mi teniente,
Todos estall presente".
For he drove all the first sections.
And again he ran the gauntlet
Of the fields for mighty Army.
Became ...First Captain ...Water, H.,
First classman ...Water, H.,
First man. ..Water. H.
Thought again of roaring Gumi,
Planned his dam to stop the waters,
Figured all the abstract forces,
And he knew that he was coming
To the end of his great problem.
And again the legend has it
How he crippled Navy's backfield,
Running all the full field length
To beat Navy six to nothing
In the last eleven seconds.
How his last shot hung in midair
When the whistle sang in B. ball,
And the shot of Higher Water
Swished the mesh of Navy's basket
To beat Navy. ..two to nothing.
How he ran the fastest quarter
To beat Navy all to nothing.
And the waters of the Hudson
Flowed beneath the bridge Bear Mountain;
Higher Water graduated,
Returned to tame the mighty waters,
Returned to build the dam called Gumi,
There he figured all the forces,
There he stopped the mighty waters,
There he placed a super-turbine,
Lighted all the Gumi Tepee,
Married faithful Plenty Pro.
And the chiefs said, "We are safe now,
Let us move the grateful people
Just below the Gumi damsite,
And the wind will be less cutting."
So they moved the little village
Down below the Gumi damsite.
Then the gods of all the Gumis
Saw the work of Higher Water,
Saw that they had sent a warrior
To be taught by all the white men,
Saw that he had stopped the Gumi;
Angered at the bold affront
Caused a mighty storm to rage,
Lashed the mighty waters higher
On a dark and loathsome night.
Then they called chief Higher Water,
Said, "The dam is coming under!
How then can we save ourselves ?"
"Shut the turbines," Higher shouted,
And they quickly shut the turbines;
But the waters cracked the damsite
And they washed the village under,
Killed the tribe of all the Gumis,
Drowned the last of all the Gumis,
Killed the mighty Higher Water
Though he was the last to perish.
In the halls of the great Usmay
Where the legend's life lives always,
It is whispered, when they tell
How the Gumis died by water,
That the great chief Higher Water
Could have thwarted Gumi Gods,
But he left out water hammer